WWE put on an entertaining, if predictable, Royal Rumble pay-per-view last night in which the crowd was hot for most of the night and the match quality was very good. The Rock won the WWE Championship and John Cena won the Royal Rumble, likely setting up the “Twice in a Lifetime” rematch at WrestleMania XXIX.

- The pre-show United States Championship match between Antonio Cesaro and The Miz was your typical Miz match until he landed awkwardly from a top-rove move, apparently twisting his ankle. Miz tried to work through it but was clearly hobbled. The finish was awkward as well as Cesaro threw Miz into the ring from the outside and then hit the Neutralizer with no real progression and got the win. Obviously that had to do with Miz being legitimately hurt so we can’t fault them too much for how this all went down.

- The Last Man Standing match between Alberto Del Rio and Big Show was better than expected. Usually I don’t have high hopes for LMS matches because it’s basically, “hit a move… stand there” forever, but this one had some good spots. Big Show’s chokeslam of Del Rio off the staging onto a table with no padding underneath was probably the highlight of those. I don’t like the Cena-Batista finish off taping Big Show’s legs to the ropes so he couldn’t stand, but it was clever and Del Rio is over huge right now, so it made sense to keep the belt on him somehow. I like that WWE is going for a sort of Eddie Guerrero-esque “lie, cheat, steal” face gimmick with Del Rio and Ricardo.

- Team Hell No defeated Rhodes Scholars to retain in the Tag Team Championship match. Nothing stellar, but not boring either. Keeping the belts on Team Hell No allows them to keep their comedy act going, although I don’t think they need the straps to continue that. While Damien Sandow and Cody Rhodes would have benefited from winning the titles, they should be okay as well. That is, as long as WWE re-invests itself in the tag team division once again.

- Other than the somewhat predictable conclusion, the Royal Rumble match featured some nice surprises. The biggest surprise was Chris Jericho entering at number two and then remaining in the Rumble almost to the end. It’s a testament to the athletic conditioning of Jericho that he hasn’t wrestled since August and was able to come back and go as long as he did. We also got the returns of Rey Mysterio, Sin Cara and Santino Marella, and likely one-off surprise appearances from Goldust and The Godfather.

When Dolph Ziggler, who entered at number one, was finally eliminated by Sheamus, it seemed to take the air out of the crowd, as did John Cena’s anti-climactic victory. Once Cena ended the Rumble match, it was safe to assume The Rock would be beating CM Punk, which also took a little steam out of the crowd for that match as well.

- The WWE Championship match was much better than Rock’s bout with John Cena at WrestleMania, as one would expect. I wouldn’t call it a wrestling classic, but Rock was always known to be able to go in the ring and CM Punk is one of the best at putting on an exciting match. This one felt a little like a late-1990s match with a lot of outside the ring action and we got a scary moment when the Spanish announce table gave out on the competitors as The Rock was trying to give CM Punk a Rock Bottom. The lights went out as The Rock was about to hit the People’s Elbow and Michael Cole told us that The Shield was powerbombing Rock through the announce table. When the lights came back on, The Rock was out cold and The Shield were nowhere to be found. Punk pinned the Rock to retain the title.

After some celebration by Punk and Paul Heyman, Vince McMahon appeared and told Punk he had no choice but to strip him of the title, but The Rock spoke up and said, instead, to restart the match. After a few minutes, The Rock completed the People’s Elbow and won the belt.

While many thought The Rock would win, I absolutely hated that it was off the People’s Elbow. He couldn’t have at least finished Punk with the Rock Bottom? It seems like we’re headed for Rock-Cena II at WrestleMania but I’m curious to see the twists in the road as we get there. I’m also wondering if we get a swerve and it turns out Brock Lesnar was the man who attacked The Rock when the lights went out.

Photo courtesy WWE.com

Last night’s Royal Rumble pay-per-view was… a pay-per-view. It certainly didn’t have that big time atmosphere we expect from one of WWE’s marquee events. CM Punk and Daniel Bryan retained their titles, John Cena and Kane fought to a double countout, the Funkasaurus won another squash, Sheamus is going to WrestleMania, and some women wrestled.

The night wasn’t without its notable moments, however, as the Royal Rumble match gave us a lot of campy comedy but also some memorable entrants. On the campy comedy side, Mick Foley and Santino had a Cobra v. Socko battle and all three announcers – Booker T, Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole – entered the match. That must have been what WWE was going for by hammering us over the head that anyone on the roster could enter the contest.

The entry of Michael Cole did lead to the return of Kharma, who eliminated Cole and Hunico before being tossed by Dolph Ziggler. First ever Royal Rumble winner Hacksaw Jim Duggan and the Road Dogg were surprise legends entrants.

Below is a match-by-match breakdown of the 2012 Royal Rumble:

Triple Threat Cage Match for the World Heavyweight Championship
Daniel Bryan (C) defeated Big Show and Mark Henry

Mark Henry was very limited in this match, which basically turned into a one-on-one Show v. Bryan contest. It was okay for what it was and the ending made sense, with Show grabbing Bryan as he tried to escape the cage, then finally losing his grip on the champion. One thing that distracted me during the match was Michael Cole’s wishy washy commentary, changing from praising Daniel Bryan for his heel antics but then remembering he is supposed to hate Daniel Bryan and bashing him again.

Beth Phoenix, Natalya and the Bella Twins defeated Kelly Kelly, Tamina, Eve and Alicia Fox

Typical divas fare, although we did see a top rope dive from Kelly Kelly onto all the divas on the floor. As you would guess, there was “twin magic,” an Eve booty pop, Kelly Kelly handspring elbow, and not enough Beth Phoenix and Tamina ring time. Hopefully with the return of Kharma, the women’s division will focus more on wrestling, but it doesn’t seem promising.

John Cena and Kane fought to a Double Countout

The match itself was pretty good, with Cena getting his typical shtick in but Kane always having an answer. The double countout was predictable since it protects both men. I really didn’t mind Kane wheeling Zack Ryder out to the arena and then demolishing the Long Island Broski and John Cena, logic of him not just taking care of business in the back aside. There was some continuation of Eve’s feeling that Cena is responsible for Ryder’s injuries and I’m assuming that will play out a little more on Raw.

Brodus Clay defeated Drew McIntyre

Basic Funkasaurus match… Dance, squash, dance. The demise of Drew McIntyre continues.

WWE Championship Match
CM Punk defeated Dolph Ziggler

There was just way too much John Laurinaitis in this match. The in-ring action was great, as you would expect from Ziggler and Punk. With Triple H coming back on Raw to rule on whether or not Johnny Ace keeps his job, the Executive Vice President of Talent Relations and Interim Raw General Manager couldn’t screw Punk as planned. Even though he teased it, you knew it wasn’t happening.

I have no problem with that, really. What was worse was how much all those shenanigans took away from Dolph Ziggler. He became a sidecar to the Punk-Laurinaitis motorcycle. Hopefully Ziggler stays in the title chase because the guy is one of the best in the business right now.

Sheamus wins the Royal Rumble match

The final four came down to Big Show, Randy Orton, Sheamus and Chris Jericho. Show and Orton quickly were eliminated, which took a little steam out of the crowd. While I’ll admit I thought Jericho was an obvious choice to win, Sheamus is deserving of a title run once again. It just doesn’t feel that special since he’s been buried in his beef with Jinder “please hate this man” Mahal. Sheamus was well down my list of potential Rumble winners heading in but we’ll see how WWE builds this heading into WrestleMania. I would guess that Sheamus challenges for the Big Gold Belt since CM Punk v. Chris Jericho at ‘Mania makes so much sense it would be hard to pass up.

As I mentioned before there was too much campy comedy in this Rumble. Did we really need to see Michael Cole in the match? I didn’t mind Lawler and Booker T, in fact I mostly suspected it, but Cole? The Foley-Santino stuff was cute at first but got old fast, as mostly everything WWE thinks is funny does.

Ricardo Rodriguez appearing in full Alberto Del Rio mode was pretty good and was one of the minor hits in an otherwise underwhelming Rumble match. Kharma returning was a welcomed surprise but it would have made more sense for her to come out after Kelly Kelly hit all the divas with the dive off the top rope during the women’s match.